Afterwards, the compromise.
Bodies resume their boundaries
These legs, for instance, mine.
Your arms take you back in.
Spoons of our fingers, lips
admit their ownership
The bedding yawns, a door
blows aimlessly ajar
and overhead, a plane
singsongs coming down.
Nothing is changed, except
there was a moment when
the wolf, the mongering wolf
who stands outside the self
lay lightly down, and slept.
Hi, I'm the Muse.
You?
Yeah, name's Floyd.
Well, come on in. I'm in the middle
of a bunch of things.
Best place to begin. Now---
No. I mean I'm fixing dinner,
my little boy's awake, and---
Lady, Lady, Lady,
you'll never get off the fucking ground like that.
What're you cooking?
Millet.
God, the Lady eats like a bird.
Honey, you gotta have meat to make poems,
takes blood to make blood sing.
Be that as it may---
I can see you're not serious.
You got anything to drink?
Beer.
That'll do.
Here you go. You know
it came to me in the kitchen
with you here, maybe I could
do some work. Dinner's ready for the oven,
my little boy's been changed
Could you watch him awhile?
The MUSE?
The MUSE a fucking babysitter?
Who do you think you are?
I'm sacred shit, remember?
I'm holy shit---
Well, how are you going to help me
sucking on a bottle of beer?
Baby, I can take you to Bliss City
in one spin on my machine.
When I've finished, you'll be so inspired
your tits will blow up balloons.
Great. What about my son?
Ditch the kid awhile.
You can't fool around
wiping asses
when I'm ready to fly.
Fly? What about writing?
Remember words,
those heavy things---?
Jeez, she's climbing on her soapbox.
Go on then. Who cares?
Scrape your life from mayonnaise jars.
You won't see me again.
Promise?
We sat across the table.
he said, cut off your hands.
they are always poking at things.
they might touch me.
I said yes.
Food grew cold on the table.
he said, burn your body.
it is not clean and smells like sex.
it rubs my mind sore.
I said yes.
I love you, I said.
that's very nice, he said.
I like to be loved,
that makes me happy.
Have you cut off your hands yet?
Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars
of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment.
the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders
of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is
nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned
in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side
is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
© Katherine Thornberry